We need it for physical survival. When it’s activated, we call it fight or flight…or some of us call it being “triggered.”
The trouble is this hardwired survival system we all have conflicts with close personal relationships. This is why we need both an acceptance of how we’re made and a strategy for how to interact when our survival system is activated.
We can try cognitive awareness, which isn’t bad, but we need a simple strategy, because complexity is impossible when survival is “on.”
Here’s one strategy: Physically take one step backwards, then stand up straight and take one deep breath. Doing this interrupts the survival system to give us a small space that may allow our cognition to step in. One step and one breath can make all the difference!